Date: 06/03/26
Mood: feeling like somethin is missin
Its My birthday month, times been flying and ive been trying to use it to my advantage. unemployment, heartbreak lowkey, and fun times, lifes a lil bit of everything right now, sleepless nights, and no late phone calls, i miss having a land line, and everyday i want to throw my phone in the TRASH. but i guess im in need of it for business purposes. i used to think about what kinda things were going on in the backrooms, but now i feel like everyone is dead inside, i think its other countries that have it going on, most def not where im from, smoking and taking long walks, and non stop sweating. whats a grl got to do?
Lots of goals, and time feels like it ends, whats a grl got to do?
im just trynna use my time wisely and get the thought of love out my mind, i just want to focus so hard i lose track of wanting anyone. oh to be a human, i hate the rat race, i hate instagram, i hate men, and i hate living in america, i also hate money, where does that leave me? hating "essential things" lets remove the word hate and replace it with STRONGLY DISLIKE, living in ameerica is like being stuck in a cycle of endless bullshit, but yet you play the game so well, im trying not to be to pessimistic, but when i think about it, thats where i flow... im glad tho that pessimism isnt in my thought rotation, hahaha my thought rotation is so funny rn, makes me laugh, truly...
anyways..
its my b-day month, and for the first time in years now, i actually wanna have a get together. and bring all my friends together, and have FUN,
I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN
truly, i just want to have a grand ol time, and im hoping that everything aligns for me in a timely manner, things have been offered to me, and i wanna say YES, but i wanna get my shit together before i do, being away for a while, has changed somethin in me, and im not rushing no more, but my goals are pushing at me! and i like that tho!
i kinda want to scream
but i know everything will work out, My cards have told me so.
right now i just have no other choice then to think of the grind, and that sucks because the world is so fucked and i hate, STRONGLY DISLIKE, the leaders of the world, but money makes the world go round, and you need it for everything, geeeeeeeez, but one step at a time.
the grind and a mix of having fun ugh
But yeah its my b-day month, and i wanna have fun with my friends, for such a long time, i did not like celebrating my b-day, but this year i do, i love hanging out with my friends it feels good to be around all the ppl i love, thats what its all about, having fun, having fun, having fun
the rest will align at my favor, love u